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The Rant Haven
Being Eaten

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Being Eaten
3/4/2 (Rye)

I was sitting here, roaming the internet, playing some Mario RPG, and eating some chicken.. and i thought.. what would it be like to get eaten?.. I've imagined some pretty cruel versions of my own demise.. but i've never fully recognized the full depth it takes to be eaten.. first, id have to find someone big enough to eat me, and willing.. second, i'd have to figure out what would be the easiest way to get into their mouth (if your thinking something sexual, shame on you) anyways.. would i go head first, or feet first.. this whole concept left me dumb-founded.. for, one way i would get an upclose look at what exactly was eating me.. and the other i would be alive longer as i am being eaten from the feet up.. as nice as they both sound.. i think i'll flip a coin when the time comes.. third, i enter the pit.. after sliding down his throat slide i end up in a canal of fluid.. i figure, this must be like a trip to one of those neat water parks you used to go to as a kid.. ..and SPLASH.. into the stomach fluids i go.. now, i figure, the average person would get immediately consumed by bacteria.. but me, with my extensive training in such fields, could possibly fight off the bacteria for weeks on end.. it would be like that movie 'Cast Away'.. surviving off the already chewed substances that i will be showered with on a daily basis.. and you've got to think.. what a paradise!.. cause no one likes to chew their own food, imagine if everyone chewed it for you.. i could just stand on my makeshift raft of a potato chip and open my mouth and let the rain of gifts from above pour down.. what a life.. I'd be living like a king.. of course id make alliances with some of the other creatures down in the bowels of this soul i call home.. and we all know that goblins are frequent in our tummies.. so perhaps, if after much training, i could one day overthrow the Goblin King (whom rules the Large Intestine) and become 'Lord of all bodily fluids' ..sure it takes training.. sure it takes bravery and valor.. but who else is better suited for the job?..
..are you willing to be eaten?